The hard part

The hardest part for me is always the fear of failure. I struggle a lot with this. But how can I even hope to succeed if I never try. So this is me trying. If you are following me on this journey please leave comments. I can really use the boost. So if its weird or silly well its me. Thats why its so hard to put things down in words. Cause my words are very personal and very much me. Hence the total fear behind it. Plus I can never decide if the way writing makes me feel is the "real" me that I am hiding.... or the fake me I am trying to portray.

      I gaze at the ice covered water. It is freezing my body to just look at it. I know that if I just jump in then the heat pouring from my body will probably melt it. But what if when I jump in it quenches the fire and engulfs me. This is the fear I am battling as I stare into the grayness. I know that if I never touch the water I will always have this wanting ache in my body. It is not always strong, but sometimes the strength of it sets my soul on fire. This is how it is today a fire raging in my soul, begging to be let out. So slowly I reach my hand out and cup the water. I pull it to my lips and let the icy freshness roll across my tongue. Then I sit back on my heels and wait. Wait to see if touching the water will increase my thirst or quench it again for a time. But i know I will get thirsty again, So I wait as beads of water fall from my lips.